Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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