What did we do last night that was yellow?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
