Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
