Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You can't motorboat a personality
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
