we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
