my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So much Jack, so little girl.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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