The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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