I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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