I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
