please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm too high and old for this...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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