My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
