watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
