he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
