the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
