too bad you live with your parents still
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
