He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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