sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
