I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
