I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
