Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
When are your genitals available?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
