He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
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