The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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