I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
