idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
