8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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