hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
