Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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