apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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