Me too!
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
