whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
