I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
