It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
This is the high leading the old right now
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
