Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
This is classic penis vs brain.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
