Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
