Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
