I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I have surprise drugs for everyone
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
