He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
