I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
How's work?
Spinning.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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