Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
