You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
