I'm really into asian looking animals
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
