There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
