Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
