I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
People in love make me want to vomit
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
