yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
