i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
