he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
