got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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