I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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