My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
