She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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