tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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