just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
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We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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