Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
