well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Can I color on your dick again?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
