He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
